Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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