I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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