my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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