Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
