Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
