I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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