he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i now understand why vodka
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
