How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I came so hard my ears popped.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
