life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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