he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize