this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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