i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
