nut hugger
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize