worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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