the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
