We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
