I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
