Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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