There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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