I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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