I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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