Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
