1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
