Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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