if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize