Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
