Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
