sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
