do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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