so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
