You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
