I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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