i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
