You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
