Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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