Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
