so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
