if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.