Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
