I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
