i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
