i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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