I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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