I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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