Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
