She is in my trunk
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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