Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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