She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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