I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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