a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
