I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
