nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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