I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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