He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
