Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
