With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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