You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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