i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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