Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  OMG. What did u say?

  (817): View more from Texas

  I told her I did too.

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  (817): She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs. (1-817): OMG. What did u say? (817): I told her I did too. http://tfl.nu/dz5w
  Replies (11) Good night (1339) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  We need to hang out more often

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  (419): Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol. (708): We need to hang out more often http://tfl.nu/04n9
  Replies (13) Good night (2890) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  I just gift wrapped bread.

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  (+44): I just gift wrapped bread. http://tfl.nu/h0i1
  Replies (8) Good night (4869) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way

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  (601): High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way http://tfl.nu/xf3z
  Replies (9) Good night (1561) Bad night (3456)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...

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  (320): Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting... http://tfl.nu/4ynh
  Replies (23) Good night (2068) Bad night (5471)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night

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  (+44): Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night http://tfl.nu/2ujl
  Replies (2) Good night (2131) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes

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  (917): Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes http://tfl.nu/vn7y
  Replies (16) Good night (1086) Bad night (4553)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.

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  (240): my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight. http://tfl.nu/cb14
  Replies (2) Good night (3486) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.

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  (907): You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield. http://tfl.nu/kh6y
  Replies (7) Good night (2113) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.

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  (518): Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday. http://tfl.nu/c6q7
  Replies (13) Good night (3439) Bad night (1430)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.

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  (519): Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen. http://tfl.nu/rpyn
  Replies (9) Good night (2422) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.

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  (316): Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired. http://tfl.nu/ogws
  Replies (27) Good night (2985) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.

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  (361): There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work. http://tfl.nu/jgfn
  Replies (8) Good night (1877) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.

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  (603): Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj. http://tfl.nu/n7sy
  Replies (6) Good night (1190) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.

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  (978): I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again. http://tfl.nu/29ts
  Replies (6) Good night (683) Bad night (357)

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