Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend

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  (410): best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend http://tfl.nu/u596
  Replies (23) Good night (4669) Bad night (707)
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  (650): View more from California

  Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.

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  (650): Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight. http://tfl.nu/6biy
  Replies (47) Good night (4969) Bad night (833)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode

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  (321): I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode http://tfl.nu/96an
  Replies (6) Good night (915) Bad night (3185)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.

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  (702): You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever. http://tfl.nu/mih5
  Replies (13) Good night (5201) Bad night (1282)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"

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  (804): when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again" http://tfl.nu/ygm1
  Replies (12) Good night (7525) Bad night (1941)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.

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  (708): Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud. http://tfl.nu/swnn
  Replies (15) Good night (4413) Bad night (1518)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list

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  (647): Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list http://tfl.nu/yikq
  Replies (23) Good night (4991) Bad night (892)
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  (323): View more from California

  Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.

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  (323): Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl. http://tfl.nu/6wl6
  Replies (32) Good night (2172) Bad night (4227)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.

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  (618): Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout. http://tfl.nu/q2nt
  Replies (42) Good night (9405) Bad night (1372)
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  (805): View more from California

  I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard

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  (805): I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard http://tfl.nu/np0a
  Replies (5) Good night (997) Bad night (1935)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight

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  (636): Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/6533
  Replies (17) Good night (801) Bad night (4295)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married

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  (941): Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married http://tfl.nu/yr2i
  Replies (6) Good night (776) Bad night (1630)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?

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  (410): She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted? http://tfl.nu/werq
  Replies (7) Good night (629) Bad night (2687)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.

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  (317): Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of. http://tfl.nu/wzwb
  Replies (4) Good night (1336) Bad night (467)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous

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  (610): I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous http://tfl.nu/uqnx
  Replies (3) Good night (463) Bad night (1089)

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