im drinking this country out of the recession.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
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How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.