Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set