Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

im drinking this country out of the recession.

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(443): View more from Maryland

How is it? Sketchville?

(1-443): View more from Maryland

cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness

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(952): View more from Minnesota

He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.

(320): View more from Minnesota

Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.

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(206): View more from Washington

at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"

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(310): View more from California

I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....

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(618): View more from Illinois

That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.

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