that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
