Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn http://tfl.nu/q2bp
  Replies (70) Good night (3473) Bad night (5321)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils http://tfl.nu/glcj
  Replies (8) Good night (1173) Bad night (2982)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!" http://tfl.nu/rt63
  Replies (15) Good night (5333) Bad night (1601)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked http://tfl.nu/8tmt
  Replies (11) Good night (4075) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno. http://tfl.nu/gzp0
  Replies (4) Good night (2050) Bad night (1387)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD http://tfl.nu/5vxn
  Replies (20) Good night (968) Bad night (5886)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?" http://tfl.nu/g1nx
  Replies (21) Good night (1529) Bad night (4144)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU. http://tfl.nu/87a2
  Replies (4) Good night (2353) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out http://tfl.nu/6wgt
  Replies (4) Good night (1743) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night. http://tfl.nu/3r48
  Replies (5) Good night (520) Bad night (1331)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle. http://tfl.nu/q65f
  Replies (3) Good night (545) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is. http://tfl.nu/7216
  Replies (1) Good night (382) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store. http://tfl.nu/502t
  Replies (10) Good night (522) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here http://tfl.nu/fxjj
  Replies (2) Good night (227) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom (862): I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE http://tfl.nu/mvr5
  Replies (4) Good night (545) Bad night (169)

Randomize