u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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