Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
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Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
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I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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