I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
