Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
